Hi dear reader of my blog. I am currently in Ubud, Bali, sitting in a treehouse with a view on wonderful green rice fields. Just finished a huge ass coconut, or well, the water inside. Thinking about life, how it’s here and back home in The Netherlands.
*I finished this blog, saved it or at least thought it was saved. Nope, all gone aaaaaaaaah. Ok Deike, embrace the first version is gone and just start over. Here we go guys!
I once read that people complain to, in a way, ‘connect’ with each other. After reading this I started paying more attention and indeed: I noticed people starting a conversation often with a complain. Mostly about the weather. Or when the train or bus has an delay. Why do we seem to find it easier to start a conversation with a complain? How nice would it be to just say ‘hi’ to someone and have a conversation about all what is going well – rather than about all what’s not?
Life and decisions. It’s a never-ending story. They can be big, like deciding where to buy a house. Or super-tiny decisions, like what time to catch the train. A decision can turn out good or bad, right? Or… maybe… it can always turn out well, depending on your mindset.
Let’s take the train example. I decide to catch the train at 8 AM. I wake up at 7 AM, shower and decide I want to get a flat white with coconut milk at my favorite coffee place at the train station. 7:30 AM – yes I do shower fast haha – I am on my way to the coffee place. Happy that I left on time, so I have no stress. Ohhhh, so looking forward taking a sip of that coffee. I arrive at the train station, almost at the coffee place. Closed. My mood? In one second from 10 to 1. I start thinking about my morning. That I could have showered longer (well, I never do but whatever). That I could have prepared breakfast on the go. Lots of negative thoughts.
Ok. It did not turn out as you expected. No flat white with coconut milk. How bad is that really? Just go to Starbucks, whatever. Tomorrow, another morning. I can’t change the situation. Well, maybe I could? Breaking in, making it myself? Obviously not.
I can’t change the situation, so let’s embrace the situation and make another decision. Thank god Starbucks was open.
”If I would have done this, then…”, is a sentence I hear a lot. But how do you know really?
I asked my father once: ”If you could change anything in your life life, would you?” It was one of our many ‘life’ conversations, pretty sure while enjoying a good glass of red wine or whiskey haha. He answered: ”Everything I did, lead me to how it is today. I don’t know what would have happened if I made other decisions, so there is no point thinking about that.”
He as well told me that he is happy with having three daughters and wonderful wife. Happy to hear haha.
Does the best decision exist?
Decisions. Why can it be so hard making them? Perhaps fear, to not make the best one? But what is truly the best decision? Maybe every decision is the best one, if you are able to change your mindset once a decision does not turn out as great as you expected.
Yeah I know: expectations… you should not have them. But f*ck, don’t we all have them, even a little?
Maybe not complain, but embrace how your decision turned out. Make the best of it, see the positive points which, I believe, are always there. And up to the next decision.
By the way… The chance being disappointed after ordering a fruit salad in Bali? Believe me, 0%.